unplugged

It has been a few days, neigh, weeks since I’ve last blogged. I’ve been, as they say in the corporate world, “Out of Pocket.” More like unplugged. Unplugged makes me think of the MTV or House of Blues by the same name where artists play without electronics, making their sound more true, definitely different, and new kind of sound at the root of all their songs.

I spent 7 days in mission with 5 other adult leaders and 14 youth ages 12-18. Yes, this meant no TV, no movies or much internet except on our mobile devices late at night as we prepared to crash for a few hours. We received barely any news about the flooding Iowa, although we did experience a 4 hour delay in Indiana on I 70 where the road was closed. We heard days after the tornado hit Manhattan, KS. Basically, all the normal channels of noise, communication, or news were silenced. Unplugged from our daily existence.

For a week, we served in the Kingdom of God, interacting outside of our comfort zones, serving food and talking to homeless people in parks and in programs such as Sunday Breakfast and St. John’s Hospice. We spent time praying for those in need, cleaning up neighborhoods of weeds and trash, visiting with the wheelchair bound and elderly, learning about other cultures and neighborhoods. We learned, we did what was needed or asked of us in the areas we served, we then came home to ‘normal’ life.

But it doesn’t seem as normal anymore.

It really isn’t the same. Or rather, I am different.

For a week, I unplugged from work, from regular family responsibilities and focused on being a better disciple through service, through looking for Christ in everyone I met. And in that light, it was the most transformational week in mission I’ve ever spent.

Here are just a few people I had the privilege to meet.

Julio was a man in the recovery program at Sunday Breakfast. He and Chef John pretty much ran the kitchen area. Julio looked to be in his late thirties, a slim man of Hispanic descent with several visible tattoos on his neck and arms. After spending 3.5 hours sorting and organizing the kitchen pantry, we worshipped with all the homeless men there for a meal and program participants before serving them dinner at their tables. One homeless man testimony started with, “I thank God for this day.” With no instruments except for the beat kept by clapping hands, we sang hymns familiar and unfamiliar. I could feel the holy spirit in that room.

Julio echoed all statements made by our team with an, “Amen.” Julio radiated gratefulness and thankfulness. He was great with the kids who helped in the kitchen. He was great with those who served food to the homeless at tables and not through a line, the only place I’ve seen do this. My hope is to carry but a small portion of Julio’s example back into my life.

Abdul, a homeless Muslim, was also a cook in army in Germany when the Wall fell. He didn’t like Germany for all its rain and understands the relentless needs of feeding people three squares a day. He had no net of people to fall back on when he went homeless, and has been on the streets for 2 years. Abdul was remaking his sleeping bag bed when we approached him. He has a homemade quilt-tied sleeping bag with actual neck ties at the end so it could be rolled up and fastened. Our conversation went on for about 15 minutes with three youth and myself. The whole conversation was that of mutual interest in understanding who we were as people. He has plans to get back on his feet. My dream is to treat all people with kindness and respect like that conversation was with Abdul.

His name might have been Rudy…but his name has been known to change as Joetta from Hands for Hope said. He was in LOVE Park. One of many men hanging around in the park that evening, ,I couldn’t tell if he was homeless. He said he was now going to have a home as a caretaker of a building, living in an apartment on the premises he received through a pastor. There was no doubt in my mind that Rudy was full of the Holy Spirit as he witnessed to be for over 10 minutes. Rudy loved God more than any sack lunches we were offering. He was well fed on the Spirit. I should be so blessed.

I was introduced to Mary in the common area of a floor at the Simpson House
She was a small lady, light in build in a wheelchair. She talked of Fairmont Park, the largest park in the country and its issues with deer population. We bonded over our love for the movie, “The Quiet Man,” with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. She actually visited the location where they built the house Wayne and O’Hara lived in. She was there in the 50’s and has ties in that area. She reminisced about being called a Yank in Ireland.

Bruce was a tray processor and program participant at St. John’s Hospice and in the program. Jerry was a volunteer who also took trays. Both were very positive men whom I helped with trays, speaking kind words to all those who had eaten. We were happy to take the trays of homeless men who were finishing up their casserole, bread, fruit and water lunch. St. John’s served 335 people in 60 minutes in a room that seated only 64 at capacity. This is done every day with all donated foods from area churches and businesses. Efficient yet caring, the homeless have pitchers of water at their tables which are constantly refilled by server volunteers and people to take their trays as they finish. There was a die cut black and white painting called “Christ in the Bread Line” on one wall. It felt like we valued and served all people there with kindness, love and respect that Christ would expect from us.

Anna Kate was our team’s (team “Mad Croc”) Center for Student Mission host this week at mission sites. Anna was great, and also a kindred spirit of the left instead of right turn syndrome. I call it directionally challenged, of which I am a card-caring member. The good news is that we didn’t get lost in ‘bad’ neighborhoods. That was impossible! Anna’s sense of humor and ability to connect us with those at each site was a true blessing. It reminded me that building relationships between unlike people is a very important part of connecting with all of God’s people. Anna reminded me of this part of mission. All relationships are key where we serve. Always.

So slowly, I begin to ‘plug’ in again, but perhaps more selectively. Perhaps more deliberately. I will not engage in the same ways. I holding the true notes of this experience alive, pure, and unfettered by too much noise.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalms 40:1-5

burned

There are many types of burns. There are sunburns, of which my daughter had a small taste of this past Memorial Day weekend. These sunburns hangout for a bit, rearing their angry red after the sun sets. They can be soothed by aloe and other such potions, but in most cases, the ‘sunburn wearer’ must endure through the heat and uncomfortable feeling of clothes for a few days. Sometimes sunburns blister and peel. Okay, most times they do, revealing new skin below which is less pink and sore, putting back to right our epidermal layer.

Burn is a name of an Usher song and also what the KKK did to crosses in the south. We burn trash, CDs and DVDS. We burn food and ourselves when cooking it. Bonfires burn for homecomings and hayrides. We burn with desire in our hearts and well as get heart burn, which is rather unpleasant in the second case . . . and can also be so in the first case, depending on where we are placing our affection. There are burn institutes and an album by Deep Purple, their 8th called Burn. We burn in ‘disco infernos.’ Burns is also then name of the conniving nuclear plant owner in the Simpsons and at the other end of the spectrum, my ohana, Jamie’s, old last name, now replaced with a cooler one by marriage about a year ago now.

When I was younger, the phrase, “You got burned!” was very popular. It was a reference to an insult, usually said in the company of others to put them down, to lower them in some way in the face of others listening. Sometimes this phrase was shorted to just, “BURN!” Sometimes these were followed by quick or often no so quick and witty responses to the challenger by the ‘burnie’.

In today’s technically joined world, burns or insults of that nature seem to be private or even public but now at the speed of light. An email here and there sometimes alone or to a group of others puts in writing what was in the past a passing comment. Similarly, blogs are out for everyone to see and often comment on based on the claims made by those ‘burning others’. Burns in these cases are often emails or blogged more in haste than when I was growing up. But are these as easy to forgive? In person, things can be resolved with immediate feedback or comment, so I guess it depends on the burn. And I must admit, I’ve been burned quite a few times since March in this arena. I now have a distinct different view of these types of ‘fired off’ communications.  Often they hold others emotionally hostage, guessing at intent. In my case, I literally felt bullied, battered, and bruised.

This experience has lead me to a book I recently finished called, Amish Grace: How Forgiveness Transcended Tragedy by Donald Kraybill (and others). In it, Kraybill talks of the Nickel Mines schoolhouse tragedy and the Amish ability to forgive the gunman. The author explores why the Amish forgave so quickly. This is deeply rooted in their culture and taught from a very early age. What I found important about the book is not this reference to forgiveness and grace, but the explanation of the differences between forgiveness and reconciliation. These are two things that are often intertwined, but as Kraybill notes, are not necessarily inclusively related. Often people think that forgiven REQUIRES the act of reconciliation, yet it is noted that we can forgive without reconciliation. Here are the different definitions:

Forgive: is the mental and/or spiritual process of ceasing to feel resentment, indignation or anger against another person for a perceived offense, difference or mistake, or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution

Reconcile: to compose or settle and bring into mutual harmony through the reestablishment of trust within both parties and the recognition of a wronged party.

Forgiveness is the beginning and is essential to discipleship.

“Their (the Amish) belief is that they should immediately forgive anyone who harms them is in stark contrast to popular ideas.” (Kraybill)

The Amish understand that discipleship means the single-minded attempt to live in a way that as closely follows Christ’s example as is humanly possible. This includes what the Christ taught in the Lord’s Prayer, to forgive others are we are forgiven. While many mainstream Christians may see forgiveness as the end of a long emotional process, the Amish believe it’s the start. They understand that they may feel angry and depressed, but they do not believe they should let painful feelings dictate their conduct toward others. In other words, to forgive is to move on and not seek out retaliation and not to set apart others due to their transgressions or offences. The book also clarifies for me what forgiveness is not.

* Forgiveness is not easy
* Forgiveness does NOT mean the victim forgets or that the offender cannot be punished.
* Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation; it is the start of it.
* A person can forgive another but not be reconciled.
* Reconciliation only takes place if the offender repents.

“Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay, says the Lord” Romans 12:19.

“Alexander the metalworker did me a great deal of harm. The Lord will repay him for what he has done” 2 Timothy 4:14.

It is hard to be wronged. Yes, it is hard to forgive, too, but as a disciple of Jesus Christ, I must. The email burn I experienced earlier this year has been soothed with aloe and wrapped in the act of forgiveness. I understand the reconciliation takes time and true repentance for the wrong. I cannot retaliate. I cannot force repentance. Most of all, I cannot exact revenge or expect God to exact in the way I perceive it. In addition, I must treat these persons with kindness and not hold it against them. This rest I must leave in God’s hands. The fact that I am finally writing about this is a good step that makes me believe God is already working. There’s hope in that as my new skin emerges from my own emotional burn.

My God, free me from the grip of Wicked, from the clutch of Bad and Bully. You keep me going when times are tough— my bedrock, God, since my childhood. Psalm 71: 5 (The Message)

a new song

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

The first time I pulled an all nighter I was in 6th grade. It was at a 12th birthday party sleep over for Sarah Terrell. After a night of too much junk food and the threat of frozen underwear for those who went to bed too early, most settled down to whisper in their sleeping bags by 4 AM. It was around 5:30 when the last of the stragglers finally fell asleep and I was alone with the dawn. I went out on to the steps in the cold April air, thrilled with the fact that I actually made it. I stayed up all night!

As the sun rose, I listened to birds, the first time that spring. In Iowa, Spring comes later than Kansas as it is a full growing zone colder. I heard the red-wing black birds and especially robins. Hearing robins and seeing them dot lawn landscapes has always meant a change of seasons to me. A change I eagerly wait for each year. This week, I heard and saw robins, highly appropriate since Spring began in the wee hours of March 20. Unlike Iowa, spring arrives on time in Kansas.

Each year, I am amazed at how much I missed birds chirping as I take the dogs out in the morning. Hearing them usher I the day with beautiful chirps and trills perks up not only my dogs’ ears, but mine as well. The birds sing as winter straggles out the back door leaving behind a trail of grayed snow, salty sidewalks and a brown, tired landscape. The birds sing in celebration as Spring bursts off the front porch, greening grasses, pushing snowdrops and hyacinths through cold mud, and bringing warmer winds to melt petrified parking lot ice heaps.

I must admit I am happy to see any season transition to the next. Each season plays a part in a cycle, a rhythm. Our God is a process God. From seed, sprout, growth, bud, flower and fruit, each part of a plant’s existence has a purpose, a time and is necessary in the natural progression of life. The same can be said about human development. From egg to embryo to infant and child, then adolescent and adult, each stage has a time and purpose. We continuously grow to the next state of being.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Matthew 28: 5-8

This coming Sunday is Easter, a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is also a good to examine where you are right now in your spiritual life. It is where you need to be right now, but isn’t where God expects you to stay. God never says, yes, you have grown in Christ’s likeness enough. Have you been in this season a long or short time? Are you moving towards the next steps of your journey? Where is God leading your heart next? What new song can you hear on the soft spring breezes? Where ever it may be, look to it with joy and anticipation.

And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here. ~St Augustine

He has risen.
He has risen, indeed.

In Christ,
Deana

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. Psalm 96: 1-3