playing tag, too

Liz tagged me on her blog to fill out this ‘8 Things’ survey on my blog. It looked interesting so here it goes.

8 things I am passionate about:

1. Understanding Micah 6:8, discipleship and living it

2. Learning what ‘on earth as it is in heaven’ really means and apply it more.

3. Creating art in some form (photos or fiber)

4. Learning to stop with the control crap (that’s all I’m gonna say about that)

5. Better ways to harness energy than fossil fuel. Come on wind! (or other)

6. Justice issues…they burn in my heart and weigh on my soul, especially Darfur. Can that fight just stop!!!?!

7. Fair Trade chocolate

8. Writing/blogging

8 things I often say: In no particular order:

1. Schweeet

2. Niiiice

3. Trudat

4. Whaaa?

5. Dude

6. Your turn on Facebook Scrabble

7. yt? (in IM)

8. holy cow!

8 things I want to do before I die: Current List

1. Go to Africa and help, preferably building a water pump system or something useful that changes people’s lives.

2. Go back to Hawaii and do the islands and go to all my old haunts.

3. Go back to New Zealand and visit the southern island, stem to stern.

4. Debt-free and working for a non-profit that helps people.

5. Really Learn to love people the drive me freakin’ nuts.

6. Lead an international mission trip somewhere in the world

7. A Christmas where I don’t get one single gift and all the $$ goes to others who need it much more than I.

8. Figure out what I am going to do next in my art career, if anything.

8 things I have learned from my past:

1. I have the same freaking pants to get happy/glad in that I just got mad in.  In other words, I can’t blame my emotional response on others. The credit is mine. (good grief)

2. Never, never, never break or hairline fracture your elbow. Never do it.  Trust me.

3. When you are tired and cutting fabric, STOP. Otherwise you become a poster child for a rotary cutter guard along with an insane number of stitches.

4. Don’t over think it (what ever it is….). Just jump in and fly by the seat of your pants.  Trust God.

5. Remember what it’s like to be made fun of by people…and don’t perpetuate it.

6. Don’t hold your nose when swimming, blow air out of it instead.

7.  People are on a different part of the spiritual journey than I. Patience.  Remember what I was like 10 years ago.

8.  Being an alum of Iowa State builds a LOT of character during football and basketball season.

8 places I would love to visit: Again, in no particular order. . .

1. Galapagos Islands

2. Ireland (Especially places where the Quiet Man was filmed)

3. Scotland

4. Alaska (the only US state I haven’t been to)

5. Australia

6. England and Wales

7. India

8. Jerusalem

8 things I currently need/want: Random order…

1. New carpet.

2. Time to read my backlog of books or at least audios of all of them.  Just to partial catch up on it…crazy!

3. The nerve in my mouth to stop hurting when it pleases.

4. A pair of shoes, black, low heel for winter.

5. All my closets, basement and garage to be cleaned out/organized.

6. My daughter’s hand to heal.

7. Halo to quit dominating Zoe and the cats (that sounds like a group, hmmm)

8. Direction for where I need to go next with my life.

8 people I tag:

1. Ben

2. Tonya

3. Tony

4. Kevin

5. Tara

6. Ken

7. Marie

8. Anne

If I tagged you, copy all of this and fill it out on your blog. If you dare!

living an imbalanced life. . .on purpose

My fellow conspirator and blogger, One Ordinary Radical, talked about yin yang and balance in work and play on his blog a awhile ago. I answered a little, but then when looking for more on this topic and now I have blogged on yin yang.

The yin yang symbol has been adopted in western world in hippie and retro hippie culture. The image lingers today on temporary tattoos and surfboards. They show up on swim wear and guitars, doo rags and key chains. The ancient symbol of balance has been bastardized by free world consumeristic expression, as are many sacred symbols (case and point, are rhinestone crosses really the best expression of torturous crucifixion? probably not.) As often is when we make a dollar or a million on marketing Jesus or yin yang, often concepts surrounding these symbols become diluted and watered down. American markets are masters at manipulating concepts and practices into molds of our liking, often in the name of ‘free expression’ or freedom. But I digress.

A Yin Yang definition states:

“The yin yang is the easily recognized Taoist symbol of the interplay of forces in the universe. In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang represent the two primal cosmic forces in the universe. Yin (moon) is the receptive, passive, cold female force. Yang (sun) is masculine- force, movement, heat.

The Yin Yang symbol represents the idealized harmony of these forces; equilibrium in the universe. In ancient Taoist texts, white and black represent enlightenment and ignorance, respectively.”
Yet in the black and white symbol of the ying yang are dangerous suppositions when associated to Christian life-balance.

Controlling Balance
As followers of Christ, Sabbath is part of the Judeo-Christian backdrop of our lives. Yes, according to the Bible, a time of rest should occur at regular intervals. Yes, Jesus practiced Sabbath, but Jesus also broke it often to help those in need. What does that say bout balancing work and play in our lives? Better yet, what are we categorizing as work vs. play? Where does service fit into that picture? In the Bible, there are debates in Jewish practices for what is considered work. Even today, centuries later, some groups of Jews thing work is turning on a light or walking anywhere.

I believe One Ordinary Radical’s intent was work and play in the overall sense. I propose there is more to work than a job and there is more to rest or play than the ceasing of working at a job. In fact we are encouraged throughout the Bible to serve others countless times more than resting. In this instance the yin yang would not be an even balance of rest and play. You only have to look at Jesus’ life to see the imbalance of recreation time to working to bring heaven on earth.

Jesus’ view of heaven on earth is not Disney or Magic Mountain, white water rafting and watching movies or eating at an excellent restaurant. Heaven on earth feeds the hungry, gives a drink the to thirsty, clothes the naked, provides shelter and dignity for all. Truly, the needs of the poor and oppressed are simpler than vacations or nights out on the town. It comes right down to water, food, shelter and freedom from slavery/oppression and war. For that reason, I am for imbalance in my own life as I strive to be a part of God’s vision. In that vision I see less play and more work for the Kingdom here on earth that needs to be done for my fellow brothers and sisters at the most basic levels of quality of life.

God vs. Human
The Bible says it clearly from the start in the ‘wrongly controversial’ creation stories. (We should rely less on the literal story of creation and more on the POINT of them.) We see it in the Tower of Babel and throughout Kings and prophets. God is God and humans are not. As followers of Christ, we walk in the manner and life of Jesus, We aspire to become more Christ-like, to be ‘little Christs,” but in the end, we do not literally become another Jesus the Christ. Jesus was God and human. We will always still be human. For that basic reason, I trust my own judgment in life balance less than what God wants for me.

The scripture I’ve been chewing on for a couple of months is Micah 6:8 which says, “Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.” Not a whole lot of resting in that statement. Some may argue that walking humbly means we are saying we are human by following Sabbath time and resting, learning that we are not god-like in our capacity. Even so, that is one third of the Micah scripture. Not equal in balance by any means. According to this scripture, clearly 2/3 of the time we are to be faithfully living out God’s vision of kingdom life in mercy and justice.

In the end, the yin yang of God vs. us should always favor the former and not the latter. Here the key in not the balance of listening to God and ourselves equally, but to solely listen to and depend on God for guidance. God’s relationship to us is not an equal balance on any level. God’s guidance that often ask us to work more than play, do more than we think we can, push us way past our own perceived limits to trust, do and follow the will of God much more than our own will.

I must live the imbalance of discipleship and what God wants in the world over my understanding of work/play (life) balance in my own personal space. For that reason, the yin yang doesn’t work well for me.

Just a few current imbalances we need to work and pray ceaselessly to make right.

* The average teenager spends $101 a week.
– $101 would educate 2 African children for an entire year
* One dollar buys a soda or a bottle of water in the US.
– One dollar gives person clean water for a year.
* Nearly three billion people world-wide live on less than $2 a day.
* Est. time reading this blog, 5 minutes. Number of people who have died during that time for lack of clean drinking water (1 every 15 seconds) = 20

Consider the global priorities in spending in 1998
Global Priority $U.S. Billions
Cosmetics in the United States 8
Ice cream in Europe 11
Perfumes in Europe and the United States 12
Pet foods in Europe and the United States 17
Business entertainment in Japan 35
Cigarettes in Europe 50
Alcoholic drinks in Europe 105
Narcotics drugs in the world 400
Military spending in the world 780

And compare that to what was estimated as additional costs to achieve universal access to basic social services in all developing countries:

Global Priority $U.S. Billions
Basic education for all 6
Water and sanitation for all 9
Reproductive health for all women 12
Basic health and nutrition 13

http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp

social justice and the gospel

“It is not a matter of engaging in both the gospel and social action, as if Christian social action was something separate from the gospel itself. The gospel has to be demonstrated in word and deed. Biblically, the gospel includes the totality of all that is good news from God for all that is bad news in human life—in every sphere. So like Jesus, authentic Christian mission has included good news for the poor, compassion for the sick and suffering justice for the oppressed, liberation for the enslaved. The gospel of the Servant of God in the power of the Spirit of God addresses every area of human need and every area that has been broken and twisted by sin and evil. And the heart of the gospel, in all of these areas, is the cross of Christ.” – Christopher J. H. Wright

It is better to just look at what God wants, not what we can fit into our personal views, schedules and segmented groups of how to ‘deal with’ the poor and oppressed. The gospel and social action are not separated and should not be in matters of injustice and mercy.  Jesus cared for the poor and the rich and even the overly ‘religious’ or ‘pious’. Each needed different healing. Each were a deeply embedded part of his ministry. We must follow Jesus’ example and let it permeate our lives…service, healing and sacrifice…in words AND in deeds.

the vocabulary of hate

”The first thing we have to do is change hearts,” Betancourt told McClatchy in an exclusive interview. “We have to change the vocabulary of hate. When I dreamed of being free, I told myself that I could not engage in hate or rancor.”

”It’s a neurotic world, and there are lots of conflicts,” she said. “There’s a food crisis and an energy crisis. People are very anxious about this. We need to reflect on how we behave.”

”The guerrillas are our enemy,” Betancourt said in the interview. “But we shouldn’t insult them. We should show them how to seek a dignified exit through peaceful negotiations. If we don’t defeat them correctly, we will sow the seeds of hate for the future.”

- Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio

_____________________________

The short-term exacting of righteous, perhaps even justifiable vengence does not seem to be in Betancourt’s vocaulary. Hostage of FARC for over 2K days, she does not resort to ‘justice,’ in the sense of our version of justice. The justice of tried in court and punished. True to her polictal leanings, Ingrid shows a Christ-like view of reconciliation for the better good of all in her country.

Do we in America do the same? We are under the impression that might makes right. Perhaps we can learn from Ingrid in some instances. I know at a personal level, I need to rely less on justice-based retribution. This is a hard lesson to learn, to apply.

I would be curious as to how she would address Darfur and Zimbabwe. When force and genocide of masses of people are at stake. Then, of course, the US still does little in these areas to help other than a few policies a the state level, official statements at the national level and the protests of non profit organizations. One can only hope it will not be too little too late.

What is our current vocabulary of hate? What can we personally do to change that? Things to think about anyway.

Íngrid Betancourt Pulecio (born December 25, 1961) is a Colombian-French politician, former senator and anti-corruption activist. Betancourt was kidnapped by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) on February 23, 2002, and rescued from captivity six and a half years later in Operation Jaque, along with 14 other hostages (three Americans and 11 Colombian policemen and soldiers), by Colombian security forces on July 2, 2008, who tricked the FARC into believing they were a leftist non-governmental organization. In all, she was held captive for 2,321 days after being taken while campaigning for the Colombian presidency as a Green.*

* Green Party of Colombia Option Center is a Colombian political party associated with the philosophies of the Green party, the “political middle”. The party advocates for having an ecological conscience, social justice, participative democracy, non violence resolutions, human sustainability and respect for diversity in order to improve the Colombian social, economic and political struggle and bring to and end the Colombian armed conflict.

needed interruption

Justice cries out from so many corners of our society. But unless events break into our lives – events like a man peddling for change on the corner or a picture on TV of a child living in poverty – and force us to ask questions, we often do not notice. Unless our lives are interrupted by an uncommon means, we tend to keep up business as usual. We need to be interrupted.

Will Samson
Justice in the Burbs: Being the Hands of Jesus Wherever You Live

Needed interuptions. Small shockers that jolt us from our day dreams. Interruptions that shake us into awareness of others is necessary. I think about how evil creeps into our lives each day. Evil is not like the movies or overly dramatic books. I think evil shows up in over-extending ourselves into looking only at what affects us. Evil is in the numbing rhythmn of ‘don’t rock the boat” routine. This numbing has us looking past those who need help to the status quo, encouraging us to think more of our own needs and ’self help’ as we watch talk shows and read books to improve ourselveshinking we can fix ourselves into being happy. Evil is the imbalance of self-need, of which Jesus did not practice.

What would Jesus need today? Jesus probably wouldn’t have an answer to that question, as it is more of a personal need. Not Oprah or Dr. Phil. Not Steven Covey. (The list is endless these days)

Of course, Jesus spent his ministry jolting others into awareness. If we are Jesus hands and feet. . . the body of Christ on earth, are we to jolt others as well? Someting to think about.

Your thoughts?

‘

God-shaped hunger

Macrina Wiederkehr

Most of us have to taste our need in a fierce sort of way before our hungers jar us into turning our lives over to God…. In the Divine Arms we become less demanding and more like the One who holds us. Then we experience new hungers. We hunger and thirst for justice, for goodness and holiness. We hunger for what is right. We hunger to be saints. Most of us are not nearly hungry enough for the things that really matter. That’s why it is so good for us to feel a gnawing in our guts. Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels

Often I think society teaches us to hunger for the wrong things. Things, looks, conditions of our body are all obsessions we feed on through media, unsaid words, the passing down of familial views on items of non-importance in God’s eyes. We hunger for the perfect body, the right clothes, another pair of shoes. We hunger for retirement and 401Ks. We hunger for security in finances, the right ‘wheels’ and the perfect life of the “Rich and Famous”. When we hunger for these types of things, we are consuming junk food. We cannot fill a God-shaped hunger through filling it other things.

When we fill ourselves with what God desires, we see through God’s eyes, what we should hunger for instead, and in the process, are less tempted by that junk food, understanding what an impoverished diet we are consuming. We understand the need for more substantial, lasting nourishment.

What are your thoughts?

a testimony of treading water, garages and creativity

A long time ago, I was bent on being famous in fiber art. Most of my extra time was for this purpose. Weekends, evenings after work deep into the night were spent creating art in my studio, honing my craft. My end game were competing in exhibits, selling work and looking towards when I would be a part of museum collections. I spent other time updating a website store, buying supplies, teaching and conversing with other fiber artists to extend my network online. I thought about ideas for creating pieces while I drove to my 9-5 job and sketched out ideas on scraps of paper during droning meetings. I dreamed of quilting patterns as I walked at night and as I did the laundry. And for my efforts, I reaped some benefits of all that energy. But in retrospect it was a lot like spiritually treading water.

A little over 5 years ago, several of the people I know began the journey of starting a new church in our town. We knew it would be lots of work and time commitment, but most of us felt the call to do so. But really, we had no idea what this would really be like. None of us had ever planted a church before. It was about half way through this time that I realized that God really wasn’t in my life that much. I had put God in the garage so to speak. God was still accessible, but truly not part of my daily living space. For most of my life, I gave God little thought outside of any ‘church activity’ such as worship, church events and the like. My life was God or other, not both.

Convenient

Compartmentalized

Safe

But as my service to planting this church increased, I realized this view would have to give way to something else.

Our God is a wild God, and cannot be tamed. God cannot be defined, categorized or controlled. God is God and we are not, no matter how much we try to lord over our lives. I began to understand this as I learned to practice the presence of God, to read the scripture more and wrestle with it, to learn to talk to God anytime. Often my talks or prayers were not the calm, eyes closed version of contemplative prayer. Indeed, I raged and lamented to God with my eyes wide open, openly yelling in protest and anger. But through this God let me rail and wriggle but kept whispering what had to be done next. Then in slow AND in great leaps. . . things starting shifting.

Unnecessary commitments dropped. I spent my time, my energy in different directions, for different reasons. I began to realize that discipleship was more than going to church on Sundays. Discipleship was a mix of joy and sacrifice, sometimes pleasant and often unpleasant and confusing, challenging my perception of the word Christian. This was not the bill of goods my born-again colleagues touted in college. There some tried to convince me that being saved for heaven was within my grasp if I just said a certain paragraph of word and I was ‘in.’ It seemed to good to be true, and now I know it isn’t that easy. This was not what I understood from my UMC roots. This did not fit any of my experiences in various churches and denominations as we traipsed across the country during my husband’s Navy years. God was in my face all the time. God was making me look into the mirror or myself and there when I cringed at what I saw.

For some reason I never put it all together until recently. I am a firm believer that there are many time lines in spiritual growth (not everyone is at the same place at the same time). God uses all in the time that is needed based on who we are. Indeed, I am often more like doubting Thomas than I care to admit. Therefore, I must put myself in the spiritual late bloomer category, giving new meaning to the phrase, “Great Awakening”. I learned that instead of the easy road, discipleship will require much more than just some words, it requires action, a lot of tripping on bumpy roads and several roller coaster rides. It requires constant challenge and transformation. The journey is messy, gritty, and unpredictable. It requires me to be more foolish and less cool. It shows me my pride and humbles me in the same instance. The more I listen to God whispers the less controlled and contained my life becomes. Yeah, God does drive me crazy.

What I do now is so different than 5 years ago. And even in the past year, this has shifted to a more intense focus on areas of concern to God…poverty, justice of the oppressed and mercy. This is so different than me from the past ‘famous artist’ stage where I had no time to commit to service projects or extra money for charities. I read a lot more as well. Bell, Claiborne, Willard, Zacharias, McLaren, Yancey, Wright, Lewis, and Miller have challenged my understanding of Christian discipleship, service and sacrifice. Now God lives not only in my house, but in other places I go . . . work, play, the kitchen, the bathroom, the backyard and places in between. As my good friend Ben Simpson said last week in his sermon, the spirit of God fills our cups and overflows into our lives and those around us. It seems that right now, I am always stepping in spilled water from my cup or someone else’s.  The scales are off my eyes and my lenses are focused on what needs to be done in God’s Kingdom.

I do still create, but with words, not fabrics. I used to write a lot before the artist thing. Now I am back at it, one of my original loves. If only a few people read my blogs, that’s okay. I will still write as it is truly how I process thoughts and this discipleship ride. I still have the studio, but it is for the most part, inactive and I’m not sorry for it. It seems as if others are more concerned about my lack of ‘art piece production’ than I am.

Instead my thoughts are on other things. Mostly Micah 6:8, Isaiah, Genesis 11 and 12, all of James and Jesus.

Now as I drive, do dishes or walk, my creativity focuses on ways to affect what is happening in Darfur, how the children in Tanzania and Uganda our family sponsors are doing, how to help fulfill the needs of the hungry and homeless, what is the best way to be a socially-conscious consumer, how can I pass this passion on to the youth of our church and my daughter and also trying to move towards being as green as possible. My time is also spent talking to God about these things and in prayer for others. For me, this is a better type of creativity. Onward.

My friends, what good is it to say you have faith, when you don’t do anything to show that you really do have faith? Can that kind of faith save you? If you know someone who doesn’t have any clothes or food, you shouldn’t just say, “I hope all goes well for you. I hope you will be warm and have plenty to eat.” What good is it to say this, unless you do something to help? Faith that doesn’t lead us to do good deeds is all alone and dead!

Suppose someone disagrees and says, “It is possible to have faith without doing kind deeds.”

I would answer, “Prove that you have faith without doing kind deeds, and I will prove that I have faith by doing them.” You surely believe there is only one God. That’s fine. Even demons believe this, and it makes them shake with fear.

Does some stupid person want proof that faith without deeds is useless? Well, our ancestor Abraham pleased God by putting his son Isaac on the altar to sacrifice him. Now you see how Abraham’s faith and deeds worked together. He proved that his faith was real by what he did. This is what the Scriptures mean by saying, “Abraham had faith in God, and God was pleased with him.” That’s how Abraham became God’s friend.

You can now see that we please God by what we do and not only by what we believe. For example, Rahab had been a prostitute. But she pleased God when she welcomed the spies and sent them home by another way. Anyone who doesn’t breathe is dead, and faith that doesn’t do anything is just as dead! James 2: 14-26

random

Random thoughts from my brain to yours this week . . . have at them.

“Jesus for President” is one of the coolest books. I am thankful for our study group. The discussion has been awesome. Quotes that got me thinking:

“It is hard to imagine a gospel that is more of an antitheses of Jesus’ gospel and the Beatitudes than what we hear today in the church: “Blessed are the rich”; “Blessed are the troops”; “We will have no mercy on the evildoers.”

So are we saying the United States of America is not a Christian nation? The United States is Christian inasmuch as it looks like Christ.p174

The more the early Christians reflected on the life and message of their rabbi-messiah, and the more they tried to live the way of the gospel, the harder they collided with the state and its hopes and dreams, militaries and markets. In fact, Christians in those first few hundred years were called atheists because they no longer believed in the Roman gospel; they no longer had any faith in the state as savior of the world. p141

[John] did not simply argue that various aspects of the market exploit this or that; rather he placed his concerns in light of a cosmological struggle between right and wrong…is is possible we can’t see the destructiveness of our economy not because we don’t know it’s terrible but because deep down, we feel that it’s necessary and that therefore it’s hopeless to criticize it?p153

Restaurant chips and salsa are the bane of my diet, or should I say lack thereof? Following a close second are those chocolate covered coffee beans Sylvia brought to study group last Sunday. Ack! Although, I was able to beat my whole team in three games straight later that night at bowling league. Secret weapon? Hmmm.

There simply needs to be more time in a day so I can catch up on books. Of course, if I’d stop acquiring them, then I might actually do it in 24. Yeah, right.

Change is good. Change can hurt. Change is really the only constant in life. How’s that for an oxymoron? Nothing like living in THAT tension.

Looking forward to the CSM mission trip to Philly. I’ve got a feeling this is will be life-changing service in less than a month for all of us. They always are, anyways.

How can people refuse aid to help all the suffering in Myanmar? How horrible to be thirsty and have children suffering like that. What makes people refuse aid? I don’t get it. I just don’t get it.

Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Church politics. Another oxymoron, but true in every place I’ve ever been. Even this one. Guess it’s time to read a few pep-talk letters to churches from Paul. I swear humans will never get that part right. Great googlymoogly.

I got a bowling ball for Mother’s Day. The color is called “Black Raspberry”

which is a combination of black, silver, deep red and sparkles. I’ve named it “Rocket Dog”. I have no idea why I named it that. Yes, I know it is a shoe brand, but the name is cool and I’m keeping it.

I am reading a book now call, “The Gutter: Where Life is Meant to be Lived,” by Craig Gross What are my gutters? Where am I afraid to go that Jesus is calling me to go? Am I listening and following? I really do live in the Suburb desert. Gross. Quotes from that book:

“When I accepted Christ as my saviour, I was lifted out of the gutter, but I was not made better than those who remained.”
—————
“Don’t blame the dark for being dark. Blame the light for not shining on the dark.”
—————

“While the Church at large is great at telling people to avoid their gutters, I’ve found that this approach just doesn’t work anymore. … Things have changed, and people don’t do things just because they’re told to do them or because those things are expected of them. So we as a Church have to change our approach and get dirty. Modern Christians must take risks and get out of their comfortable pews and classrooms and do something for God. If we don’t, who will?”


From the Save Darfur website today: “Reports indicate that the government is detaining, torturing and killing Darfuris in and around Khartoum, and that janjaweed militias have commenced attacks in North Darfur. The international community must demand an immediate end to atrocities, speed up deployment of peacekeepers, and make clear to all sides that there is no violent solution to this conflict.”

I can’t stop thinking about the people of Darfur. I wonder if I am doing enough to help them. I know I am not. I am not sure what else to do. I would go to Sudan if I could swing it in a minute. (Now that’s something I would have never said a year ago.)

Thou shalt not be a victim. Thou shalt not be a perpetrator. Above all, thou shalt not be a bystander. Holocaust Museum, Washington, DC

The green of spring trees and plans, the chartreuse of nature is my favorite color followed closely by the orange-red of fall. Nobody does it better than God in nature. Nobody.

Goal: Debt-free in 5 years. Goal: Look for something else to do with my life in 5 years besides feed the corporate machine.

Storms of spring this year bring a rollercoaster of emotion. Betrayal. Bitterness. Joy. Love. Heartbreak. Depression. Happiness. Purpose. Shame. Wait a minute, it will change again. Funny thing about riding a rollercoaster is that if I stick my arms up in the air and scream, no one will really know if it is fear, pain or joy. I am not looking forward to Wednesday night.

I want to design a shirt from a saying I saw in Chicago. It said, “Social Justice isn’t Just for Rock Stars.”

UMCOR, UNICEF, Darfur….a dollar. All for world aid stand up and holler!

I bought a hand bag today that is so big that I could cut two holes in it and stick it on my head all the way and wear it like a mask, but it’s GREEN. The only thing that frightens me a little is that I can truly stick ¾ of my arm in it digging around. I wonder if clerks think I’m going to pull a rabbit out of it?

I owe both my sponsor children Stella in Tanzania and Betty in Uganda letters and pictures. I have to get that done by Saturday. Jeez, I used to be much better at writing letters before the internet and email.

Wayne finally went with Kevin to a pawn shop and picked up the most beautiful abalone shell inlaid blue guitar. I am jealous. I want to learn to play it too!

We must not allow ourselves to become like the system we oppose. Bishop Desmond Tutu

drawing conclusions

“No one shall be subjected to torture, or to cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment”- Universal Declaration of Human Rights

I revisited an old drawing of mine in a family Bible today. It was a story I wrote when I was 9 years old. It was a story about my favorite person and a drawing. The story said:

Language
September 27, 1973

Deana

My favorite person is grandpa arends. He doesn’t have much hair but a little hair in the back and brown eyes and glasses and I liked him taking me to the zoo. He is still alive.

On the back was a simple, quickly drawn picture of my grandpa and I walking. Many of my memories of my grandpa Roger were of walking. Sometimes it was the zoo, other times in the neighborhoods of Grimes, Iowa where we’d occasionally make it to Main Street, talking to friends on porches or in yards as we made our way through town.

Spending summer weeks at my mother’s parents conjures up other fond memories. There was no pool in town, so my grandma got out her old wash tub, filled it with water and I splashed in that. They grew raspberries (my favorite fruit to this day) and we enjoyed them with half and half or in a fresh pie. There were zoo trips and dinners out with other great aunts and uncles. Sometimes cousins visited and fun was had by all. I learned how to fry chicken and crochet. I showed my prowess around scrubbing out sinks after doing dishes. I helped bake bread and count the number of canned vegetables and jams in the basement. I learned how long it takes to polish a rock in a polisher. And yes, I did catch fireflies in on of grandma’s old mason jars for a nightlight, only to release them each morning to start again that night.

These memories are in stark contrast to the collection of drawings I looked at this week from children in IDP (Internally Displaced People) camps of refugees from the Darfur area of Sudan. Instead of pictures of family life and events of joy, children in these camps, witnesses to the ongoing genocide in that country, drew frightening and consistent pictures of homes being burned and people being attacked. For them, there is no peace. The drawings can be viewed in full here. Here is one of them.

The five hundred drawings collected by Waging Peace amount to a form of criminal evidence from silent witnesses. The killings, bombing and looting shown in the drawings directly contradict the Government of Sudan’s version of events over the last four years of bloodshed. The pattern that emerges from these drawings corroborates what we know has been taking place in Darfur and shows a worryingly similar pattern of attacks developing in Eastern Chad.

There have been 5 years of conflict in this region. Now there are school age children who are living in camps that no nothing of peace. Over 1 million of Darfuri children know only a life of destruction, not of home.

This young boy was 8 when his village in Darfur was attacked in 2003 by Janjaweed and Sudanese armed forces. He is now 12 and living in a refugee camp in Eastern Chad.

In this drawing the attackers, on camel and hose backs and in armed vehicles, are setting the houses on fire and shooting at civilians from all corners (note how the bullets are crossing each others paths). The villagers are also fighting back with spears and arrows, while the Janjaweed and Sudanese forces are attacking them with machine guns.

The skin colour of the attackers is lighter than that of the victims, clearly denoting the ethnic character of the attacks.

The tribes of the Darfur region in Sudan are African, not Arab. As the Janjaweed rebels (backed by the Sudanese government) put it as they slaughter villages, “They are too black.” At the crux of this conflict we find race, not religion. More than 400,000 Black African people have been killed, and more than 2 million Black African people have been forced to leave their homes.

Do not deprive the alien or the fatherless of justice, or take the cloak of the widow as a pledge. Deuteronomy 24:17

“Never again” was the rally cry after the Holocaust. “Never again” was shouted after the Rwandan genocide in the early 1990’s. Yet, it is happening again. A child is a child of God, no matter where they live, how they worship, or what color their skin happens to be. It’s time to LEARN about this conflict and genocide. DO something to help. TELL others.

Start here.

wastelands and desert people gardeners

Wasteland
1. Land that is desolate, barren, or ravaged.
2. A place, era, or aspect of life considered as lacking in spiritual, aesthetic, or other humanizing qualities; a vacuum: a cultural wasteland.

Wasteland is a word, when Googled, brings up 9,010,000 entries in .20 seconds. From bands to songs to poems to suburbs, our world is full of examples of wastelands. There is a song called Baba O’Reilly, often labeled, “Teenage Wasteland,” by the Who. Waste Land is one of T.S. Eliot’s most famous poems. It describes a journey of the human soul searching for redemption using a revolutionary style at that time. The Wasteland is a Celtic motif that ties the barrenness of a land with a curse that must be lifted by a hero. Wastelands shows up in Irish mythology and French Grail romances, and hints of it may be found in the Welsh stories as well. In the Bible, wastelands and deserts surround communities.

There are many stories in the Bible which show wastelands (deserts) as places of testing. The people of Israel wandered 40 years in the desert to learn faithfulness to God. John the Baptist was the voice calling from the desert of the coming Christ. Jesus was tested for 40 days in the desert by Satan to grasp the reigns of empire and spiritual power. Wastelands are testing and proving grounds.

I am being tested.

I am a desert dweller in just on the perimeter of a metro area in a community which is far from the intense life of inner city Kansas. In fact, many of the metro areas I’ve traveled through or lived in over my lifetime have a pattern of weaker inner cities (services, money, etc.) surrounded by more affluent neighborhoods and communities or ‘burbs with less visible poverty. Yes, all cities have poverty, but it seems to concentrate in the rundown areas of the inner city cores in a seemingly downward spiral of despair. The result of this isolation is a wasteland of comfort and affluence is a life cut off from people in the city, numbing my ability to recognize need, want, to the stories of the homeless. Where I live feeds the ‘us’ vs. ‘them’ paradigm through geographic separation, commuting between suburbs to work, and the lack of constant visual reminders of suffering.

This is what the Lord says: “For three sins of Judah, even for four, I will not turn back my wrath. Because they have rejected the law of the Lord and have not kept his decrees, because they have been led astray by false gods, the gods their ancestors followed, I will send fire upon Judah that will consume the fortresses of Jerusalem.” This is what the Lord says: “For three sins of Israel, even for four, I will not turn back my wrath. They sell the righteous for silver, and the needy for a pair of sandals. They trample on the heads of the poor as upon the dust of the ground and deny justice to the oppressed. Amos 2:4-7

I am being tested not to ignore the cry of the poor and oppressed. Tested to look past the Applebee’s and Chili’s, the Mall, the Wal-Marts and other strip mall, cookie cutter establishments that dot the suburbs to the cry of the poor and needy in the town where I live. Tested to look deeper into what I consume and ask, “Who made this? Were the people who made these garments treated with respect or in a sweatshop? Do I need another one of these things?” More and more I think, “Should it be this way?”  For the last question, the answer is a definite no. I do not have all the answers to these questions, but I keep searching and keep asking more questions. In the meantime, I look for more ways to love my neighbors, wherever they live.

Jesus did not think that only he sowed the Word of God. He was constantly sending people away, telling them also to sow the seed of the kingdom . . . a distracting, violent, and tempting world, keep sowing the seeds of love. Sow it everywhere, even when Herod cuts it down, and even when the world’s riches try to choke it.

Sowers must not become discouraged easily. The disciples were constantly butting up against Jesus’ thoughts about the way God’s reign comes on earth. ‘It will never work that way!’ you can hear the disciples thinking at almost every encounter. They thought the kingdom would come quickly like the apocalypse, as almost all revolutionaries from Marx to Guevara have insisted. But Jesus’ revolutionary patience claimed that another kingdom is coming—one that you can participate in but cannot build; a seed you can plant and water but cannot make grow. You can’t drag the kingdom of God into the world. But you can’t stop sowing the seeds either. Sow them everywhere. “Jesus for President,” (Claiborne and Haw) You can read more about this book here.

I leave you with these lyrics from the ‘80’s band Tears for Fears. The still ring true after their release in 1989, almost 20 years ago. Something to ponder as you ask your own questions and search for answers.

Seeds of Love

By Tears for Fears

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the lovetrain rides from coast to coast
D.j.s the man we love the most
Could you be, could you be squeaky clean
And smash any hope of democracry ?
As the headline says youre free to choose
Theres egg on your face and mud on your shoes
One of these days theyre gonna call it the blues

And anything is possible when youre sowing the seeds of love
Anything is possible – sowing the seeds of love

I spy tears in thier eyes
They look to the skies for some kind of divine intervention
Food goes to waste !
So nice to eat, so nice to taste
Politician grannie with your high ideals
Have you no idea how the majority feels ?
So without love and a promise land
Were fools to the rules of a goverment plan
Kick out the style ! bring back the jam !

Anything…
Sowing the seeds
The birds and the bees
My girlfriend and me in love

Feel the pain
Talk about it
If you’re a worried man – then shout about it
Open hearts – feel about it Open minds – think about it
Everyone – read about it Everyone – scream about it !
Everyone, Everyone – read about it, read about it
Read in the books in the crannies and the nooks there are books to read
(Chorus 0

(mr. england sowing the seeds of love)

Time to eat all your words
Swallow your pride
Open your eyes

High time we made a stand and shook up the views of the common man
And the love train rides from coast to coast
Every minute of every hour – I love a sunflower
And I believe in love power, love power, love power !!!

Sowing the seeds
An end to need
And the politics of greed
With love