A wolf, a Charlotte and Mrs. T

“If you think of this world as a place intended simply for our happiness, you find it quite intolerable: think of it as a place of training and correction and it’s not so bad” –C. S. Lewis

Some of you may already know my knack for discovering spiders in our basement around this time of year as I blogged about it last Fall. (check it out here ) Yes, October is approaching, usually the month when I see the most arachnids in our basement laundry room, yet I’ve already had several spider encounters recently. Let me share.

Imagine my duress to stumble on a rather large wolf spider sauntering through the bedroom door in the early morning light in August. Mind you, this spider had to make it up two sets of stairs and three cats to make it this far. Why this room? There are others before it in the hall after all. Yet here it stood in 8 sturdy legs. Seriously, do I have spider magnet or something? You would think that I would at lead get SOME sort of spidey power for the bites I’ve received in my life. Nope. Nada. No web spinning or swinging from buildings. But I digress. Several pounding objects later including a journal, book and shoe, plus a few exclamations of distain from me, the now flattened adventurous Wolf Spider Columbus was on his way to the new world via a toilet flush in a Kleenex boat. Each instance like this draws me closer to spraying for bugs around the house. I’ve not given in yet, though.

For the second time in my life, “Charlotte” has now appeared outside our front door, spinning a nightly web. She creates her web art between the porch light and rail, neatly tidying up in the morning. My mother and I named a similar spider that who spun webs in the small rectangular window next to our front door one summer many years ago. It was fascinating watching through glass as it spun a web each night, caught meals, ate, then took down the web each morning. I learned a lot about Charlottes that summer and their practices, feeling safe inside as I observed. That Charlotte met an early demise as it poorly chose to scurry across the path of my spider-hating brother one day as he came in the front door. No more Charlotte. This new Charlotte smartly scurries up into the light fixture when we open the door, but more than once I’ve almost backed into the web as I took the dogs, Charlotte deep in ‘web management”, still in the center, waiting for a “Delicious Dish”. I’ve kept with my policy of outdoors ‘ok’ indoors ‘dead’ and it lives on. That is, unless Charlotte finds her way on me. Then all policies are null and void.

Now a new and much larger “Charlotte” has entered into my life. You see, my daughter’s 4th grade teacher has a spider for a PET in the classroom. GAH! This is not ordinary garden variety spider, but and biggest tarantula I’ve ever seen. In fact, the teacher noted, “She molted this summer and is much bigger now.” Holy cow people, the BODY of that arachnid was as big as a man’s palm. I know this because one of the fathers during school open house held it. Shivers ran down my spine as I approached the room and saw hefty ‘Charlotte’ in the doorway area on the teacher’s arm. No, Charlotte is not an appropriate name for that brutish mass of hair and goo. It is by no means as delicate and articulate as the E.B. White’s Charlotte conversing with Wilber and crating fantastic advertising web. It is big, brutish, hairy, by its mere size it reeks of attitude. Therefore, I call it Mrs. T. So there I stood, wondering–should I stay outside or try skirt the whole scene to get into the room? Even Kayla seemed a bit timid to enter the room to check out her new desk and class.

One thing I’ve learned as a past teacher and now parent is my daughter, and other children for that matter, observe and imitate grownups quite often, especially in cases of fear. When teaching after school programs in Mililani, HI, decades ago, I knew if I overreacted to something such as a banana spider or centipede in the classroom, I was guaranteed a rounding chorus of the same type of scream and reaction from 25 Kindergarteners. With that in mind, I approached “Mrs. T” without comment and listened to what the teacher. “You can pet her.” “Pet her very gently on her body here” “If these antennae come up, she is agitated, so stop” On and on she went, instructing timid students and grownups how to touch her gargantuan friend.

“So what your telling me is that I’m all tied up inside…baby steps untie your knots” “Baby steps. Baby steps.” Bob Wiley in What about Bob

Finally I bucked up and pet the blasted thing exactly three passes over Mrs. T’s abdomen. I did this in part to show Kayla it was okay (she did not pet Charlotte that night, she informed me the next week that she pet the spider, too, in class). I also did it to overcome this fear of spiders. And I have to admit also that part of it was to be able to say, “I’ve pet a tarantula and it wasn’t so bad.” Now the deed is done, the baby step taken towards a more reasonable view and treatment of spiders.

Some could say spiritual journeys of discipleship are similar to my tarantula experience. Constant growth through learning, trusting, sticking out our necks to change our opinion, our direction, not matter how small the step is progress.

I think that many of us, when Christ has enabled us to overcome 1 or 2 sins that were an obvious nuisance, are inclined to feel..that now we are good enough. He has done all we wanted Him to do and we should be obliged if He would now leave us alone.” –C. S. Lewis

Often I think our American dream of big, fast, quick, successful does a lot to damage those seeking God and Christ. We are taught to believe success likes in the large, visible changes in character to show success. These are most often noted and celebrated such as a baptism, a ‘conversion’ “public confession” or ‘confirmation”. These are very important, but not where most the real work of spiritual growth is done. We can say, we’ve taken major steps with these celebrations, yet God is constantly reaching to us from the next thing or place we need to be, pulling us forward through our daily lives, not allowing us to get to comfortable with our past resumes.

It’s that small decision on how to react or change, the seemingly inane choices we make that make a differences. “Should I get down on that person? Should I be mad or forgive and let it pass? Should I be generous? Should I acknowledge that person and let them into my lane of traffic? Should I spend my time leisurely at movies or on the computer or should I find a way to help for others? Should I hoard my money or find places where it is need more than my bank account?” Indeed, changes in spiritual character often come in the trenches. It involves taking risks and leaving the safety of what we know ‘works for us”, those often stagnant places of comfort. God’s pull on our lives to grow in discipleship is loving, constant and absolutely relentless. Yes, there are back steps, but overall, spiritual growth spring boards off this momentum, often performed with trepidation, uncertainty, and a bit of fear of the unknown, reaching out for the hand than leads us onward.

“Good and evil both increase at compound interest. That is why the little decisions you and I make everyday are of such infinite importance.” –C. S. Lewis

As for my spider encounters? Well, there are conferences in October in my daughter’s classroom, so I imagine, small steps will occur as I again visit the tarantula’s lair.

“Baby step to four o’clock. Baby step to four o’clock,” Bob Wiley in What About Bob.

living an imbalanced life. . .on purpose

My fellow conspirator and blogger, One Ordinary Radical, talked about yin yang and balance in work and play on his blog a awhile ago. I answered a little, but then when looking for more on this topic and now I have blogged on yin yang.

The yin yang symbol has been adopted in western world in hippie and retro hippie culture. The image lingers today on temporary tattoos and surfboards. They show up on swim wear and guitars, doo rags and key chains. The ancient symbol of balance has been bastardized by free world consumeristic expression, as are many sacred symbols (case and point, are rhinestone crosses really the best expression of torturous crucifixion? probably not.) As often is when we make a dollar or a million on marketing Jesus or yin yang, often concepts surrounding these symbols become diluted and watered down. American markets are masters at manipulating concepts and practices into molds of our liking, often in the name of ‘free expression’ or freedom. But I digress.

A Yin Yang definition states:

“The yin yang is the easily recognized Taoist symbol of the interplay of forces in the universe. In Chinese philosophy, yin and yang represent the two primal cosmic forces in the universe. Yin (moon) is the receptive, passive, cold female force. Yang (sun) is masculine- force, movement, heat.

The Yin Yang symbol represents the idealized harmony of these forces; equilibrium in the universe. In ancient Taoist texts, white and black represent enlightenment and ignorance, respectively.”
Yet in the black and white symbol of the ying yang are dangerous suppositions when associated to Christian life-balance.

Controlling Balance
As followers of Christ, Sabbath is part of the Judeo-Christian backdrop of our lives. Yes, according to the Bible, a time of rest should occur at regular intervals. Yes, Jesus practiced Sabbath, but Jesus also broke it often to help those in need. What does that say bout balancing work and play in our lives? Better yet, what are we categorizing as work vs. play? Where does service fit into that picture? In the Bible, there are debates in Jewish practices for what is considered work. Even today, centuries later, some groups of Jews thing work is turning on a light or walking anywhere.

I believe One Ordinary Radical’s intent was work and play in the overall sense. I propose there is more to work than a job and there is more to rest or play than the ceasing of working at a job. In fact we are encouraged throughout the Bible to serve others countless times more than resting. In this instance the yin yang would not be an even balance of rest and play. You only have to look at Jesus’ life to see the imbalance of recreation time to working to bring heaven on earth.

Jesus’ view of heaven on earth is not Disney or Magic Mountain, white water rafting and watching movies or eating at an excellent restaurant. Heaven on earth feeds the hungry, gives a drink the to thirsty, clothes the naked, provides shelter and dignity for all. Truly, the needs of the poor and oppressed are simpler than vacations or nights out on the town. It comes right down to water, food, shelter and freedom from slavery/oppression and war. For that reason, I am for imbalance in my own life as I strive to be a part of God’s vision. In that vision I see less play and more work for the Kingdom here on earth that needs to be done for my fellow brothers and sisters at the most basic levels of quality of life.

God vs. Human
The Bible says it clearly from the start in the ‘wrongly controversial’ creation stories. (We should rely less on the literal story of creation and more on the POINT of them.) We see it in the Tower of Babel and throughout Kings and prophets. God is God and humans are not. As followers of Christ, we walk in the manner and life of Jesus, We aspire to become more Christ-like, to be ‘little Christs,” but in the end, we do not literally become another Jesus the Christ. Jesus was God and human. We will always still be human. For that basic reason, I trust my own judgment in life balance less than what God wants for me.

The scripture I’ve been chewing on for a couple of months is Micah 6:8 which says, “Seek justice, love mercy, walk humbly with your God.” Not a whole lot of resting in that statement. Some may argue that walking humbly means we are saying we are human by following Sabbath time and resting, learning that we are not god-like in our capacity. Even so, that is one third of the Micah scripture. Not equal in balance by any means. According to this scripture, clearly 2/3 of the time we are to be faithfully living out God’s vision of kingdom life in mercy and justice.

In the end, the yin yang of God vs. us should always favor the former and not the latter. Here the key in not the balance of listening to God and ourselves equally, but to solely listen to and depend on God for guidance. God’s relationship to us is not an equal balance on any level. God’s guidance that often ask us to work more than play, do more than we think we can, push us way past our own perceived limits to trust, do and follow the will of God much more than our own will.

I must live the imbalance of discipleship and what God wants in the world over my understanding of work/play (life) balance in my own personal space. For that reason, the yin yang doesn’t work well for me.

Just a few current imbalances we need to work and pray ceaselessly to make right.

* The average teenager spends $101 a week.
– $101 would educate 2 African children for an entire year
* One dollar buys a soda or a bottle of water in the US.
– One dollar gives person clean water for a year.
* Nearly three billion people world-wide live on less than $2 a day.
* Est. time reading this blog, 5 minutes. Number of people who have died during that time for lack of clean drinking water (1 every 15 seconds) = 20

Consider the global priorities in spending in 1998
Global Priority $U.S. Billions
Cosmetics in the United States 8
Ice cream in Europe 11
Perfumes in Europe and the United States 12
Pet foods in Europe and the United States 17
Business entertainment in Japan 35
Cigarettes in Europe 50
Alcoholic drinks in Europe 105
Narcotics drugs in the world 400
Military spending in the world 780

And compare that to what was estimated as additional costs to achieve universal access to basic social services in all developing countries:

Global Priority $U.S. Billions
Basic education for all 6
Water and sanitation for all 9
Reproductive health for all women 12
Basic health and nutrition 13

http://www.globalissues.org/TradeRelated/Facts.asp

the vocabulary of hate

”The first thing we have to do is change hearts,” Betancourt told McClatchy in an exclusive interview. “We have to change the vocabulary of hate. When I dreamed of being free, I told myself that I could not engage in hate or rancor.”

”It’s a neurotic world, and there are lots of conflicts,” she said. “There’s a food crisis and an energy crisis. People are very anxious about this. We need to reflect on how we behave.”

”The guerrillas are our enemy,” Betancourt said in the interview. “But we shouldn’t insult them. We should show them how to seek a dignified exit through peaceful negotiations. If we don’t defeat them correctly, we will sow the seeds of hate for the future.”

- Ingrid Betancourt Pulecio

_____________________________

The short-term exacting of righteous, perhaps even justifiable vengence does not seem to be in Betancourt’s vocaulary. Hostage of FARC for over 2K days, she does not resort to ‘justice,’ in the sense of our version of justice. The justice of tried in court and punished. True to her polictal leanings, Ingrid shows a Christ-like view of reconciliation for the better good of all in her country.

Do we in America do the same? We are under the impression that might makes right. Perhaps we can learn from Ingrid in some instances. I know at a personal level, I need to rely less on justice-based retribution. This is a hard lesson to learn, to apply.

I would be curious as to how she would address Darfur and Zimbabwe. When force and genocide of masses of people are at stake. Then, of course, the US still does little in these areas to help other than a few policies a the state level, official statements at the national level and the protests of non profit organizations. One can only hope it will not be too little too late.

What is our current vocabulary of hate? What can we personally do to change that? Things to think about anyway.

Íngrid Betancourt Pulecio (born December 25, 1961) is a Colombian-French politician, former senator and anti-corruption activist. Betancourt was kidnapped by the Revolutionary Armed Forces of Colombia (FARC) on February 23, 2002, and rescued from captivity six and a half years later in Operation Jaque, along with 14 other hostages (three Americans and 11 Colombian policemen and soldiers), by Colombian security forces on July 2, 2008, who tricked the FARC into believing they were a leftist non-governmental organization. In all, she was held captive for 2,321 days after being taken while campaigning for the Colombian presidency as a Green.*

* Green Party of Colombia Option Center is a Colombian political party associated with the philosophies of the Green party, the “political middle”. The party advocates for having an ecological conscience, social justice, participative democracy, non violence resolutions, human sustainability and respect for diversity in order to improve the Colombian social, economic and political struggle and bring to and end the Colombian armed conflict.

unplugged

It has been a few days, neigh, weeks since I’ve last blogged. I’ve been, as they say in the corporate world, “Out of Pocket.” More like unplugged. Unplugged makes me think of the MTV or House of Blues by the same name where artists play without electronics, making their sound more true, definitely different, and new kind of sound at the root of all their songs.

I spent 7 days in mission with 5 other adult leaders and 14 youth ages 12-18. Yes, this meant no TV, no movies or much internet except on our mobile devices late at night as we prepared to crash for a few hours. We received barely any news about the flooding Iowa, although we did experience a 4 hour delay in Indiana on I 70 where the road was closed. We heard days after the tornado hit Manhattan, KS. Basically, all the normal channels of noise, communication, or news were silenced. Unplugged from our daily existence.

For a week, we served in the Kingdom of God, interacting outside of our comfort zones, serving food and talking to homeless people in parks and in programs such as Sunday Breakfast and St. John’s Hospice. We spent time praying for those in need, cleaning up neighborhoods of weeds and trash, visiting with the wheelchair bound and elderly, learning about other cultures and neighborhoods. We learned, we did what was needed or asked of us in the areas we served, we then came home to ‘normal’ life.

But it doesn’t seem as normal anymore.

It really isn’t the same. Or rather, I am different.

For a week, I unplugged from work, from regular family responsibilities and focused on being a better disciple through service, through looking for Christ in everyone I met. And in that light, it was the most transformational week in mission I’ve ever spent.

Here are just a few people I had the privilege to meet.

Julio was a man in the recovery program at Sunday Breakfast. He and Chef John pretty much ran the kitchen area. Julio looked to be in his late thirties, a slim man of Hispanic descent with several visible tattoos on his neck and arms. After spending 3.5 hours sorting and organizing the kitchen pantry, we worshipped with all the homeless men there for a meal and program participants before serving them dinner at their tables. One homeless man testimony started with, “I thank God for this day.” With no instruments except for the beat kept by clapping hands, we sang hymns familiar and unfamiliar. I could feel the holy spirit in that room.

Julio echoed all statements made by our team with an, “Amen.” Julio radiated gratefulness and thankfulness. He was great with the kids who helped in the kitchen. He was great with those who served food to the homeless at tables and not through a line, the only place I’ve seen do this. My hope is to carry but a small portion of Julio’s example back into my life.

Abdul, a homeless Muslim, was also a cook in army in Germany when the Wall fell. He didn’t like Germany for all its rain and understands the relentless needs of feeding people three squares a day. He had no net of people to fall back on when he went homeless, and has been on the streets for 2 years. Abdul was remaking his sleeping bag bed when we approached him. He has a homemade quilt-tied sleeping bag with actual neck ties at the end so it could be rolled up and fastened. Our conversation went on for about 15 minutes with three youth and myself. The whole conversation was that of mutual interest in understanding who we were as people. He has plans to get back on his feet. My dream is to treat all people with kindness and respect like that conversation was with Abdul.

His name might have been Rudy…but his name has been known to change as Joetta from Hands for Hope said. He was in LOVE Park. One of many men hanging around in the park that evening, ,I couldn’t tell if he was homeless. He said he was now going to have a home as a caretaker of a building, living in an apartment on the premises he received through a pastor. There was no doubt in my mind that Rudy was full of the Holy Spirit as he witnessed to be for over 10 minutes. Rudy loved God more than any sack lunches we were offering. He was well fed on the Spirit. I should be so blessed.

I was introduced to Mary in the common area of a floor at the Simpson House
She was a small lady, light in build in a wheelchair. She talked of Fairmont Park, the largest park in the country and its issues with deer population. We bonded over our love for the movie, “The Quiet Man,” with John Wayne and Maureen O’Hara. She actually visited the location where they built the house Wayne and O’Hara lived in. She was there in the 50’s and has ties in that area. She reminisced about being called a Yank in Ireland.

Bruce was a tray processor and program participant at St. John’s Hospice and in the program. Jerry was a volunteer who also took trays. Both were very positive men whom I helped with trays, speaking kind words to all those who had eaten. We were happy to take the trays of homeless men who were finishing up their casserole, bread, fruit and water lunch. St. John’s served 335 people in 60 minutes in a room that seated only 64 at capacity. This is done every day with all donated foods from area churches and businesses. Efficient yet caring, the homeless have pitchers of water at their tables which are constantly refilled by server volunteers and people to take their trays as they finish. There was a die cut black and white painting called “Christ in the Bread Line” on one wall. It felt like we valued and served all people there with kindness, love and respect that Christ would expect from us.

Anna Kate was our team’s (team “Mad Croc”) Center for Student Mission host this week at mission sites. Anna was great, and also a kindred spirit of the left instead of right turn syndrome. I call it directionally challenged, of which I am a card-caring member. The good news is that we didn’t get lost in ‘bad’ neighborhoods. That was impossible! Anna’s sense of humor and ability to connect us with those at each site was a true blessing. It reminded me that building relationships between unlike people is a very important part of connecting with all of God’s people. Anna reminded me of this part of mission. All relationships are key where we serve. Always.

So slowly, I begin to ‘plug’ in again, but perhaps more selectively. Perhaps more deliberately. I will not engage in the same ways. I holding the true notes of this experience alive, pure, and unfettered by too much noise.

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the Lord. Blessed is the man who makes the Lord his trust, who does not look to the proud, to those who turn aside to false gods. Many, O Lord my God, are the wonders you have done. The things you planned for us no one can recount to you; were I to speak and tell of them, they would be too many to declare. Psalms 40:1-5

a new song

“Expect to have hope rekindled. Expect your prayers to be answered in wondrous ways. The dry seasons in life do not last. The spring rains will come again.” Sarah Ban Breathnach

The first time I pulled an all nighter I was in 6th grade. It was at a 12th birthday party sleep over for Sarah Terrell. After a night of too much junk food and the threat of frozen underwear for those who went to bed too early, most settled down to whisper in their sleeping bags by 4 AM. It was around 5:30 when the last of the stragglers finally fell asleep and I was alone with the dawn. I went out on to the steps in the cold April air, thrilled with the fact that I actually made it. I stayed up all night!

As the sun rose, I listened to birds, the first time that spring. In Iowa, Spring comes later than Kansas as it is a full growing zone colder. I heard the red-wing black birds and especially robins. Hearing robins and seeing them dot lawn landscapes has always meant a change of seasons to me. A change I eagerly wait for each year. This week, I heard and saw robins, highly appropriate since Spring began in the wee hours of March 20. Unlike Iowa, spring arrives on time in Kansas.

Each year, I am amazed at how much I missed birds chirping as I take the dogs out in the morning. Hearing them usher I the day with beautiful chirps and trills perks up not only my dogs’ ears, but mine as well. The birds sing as winter straggles out the back door leaving behind a trail of grayed snow, salty sidewalks and a brown, tired landscape. The birds sing in celebration as Spring bursts off the front porch, greening grasses, pushing snowdrops and hyacinths through cold mud, and bringing warmer winds to melt petrified parking lot ice heaps.

I must admit I am happy to see any season transition to the next. Each season plays a part in a cycle, a rhythm. Our God is a process God. From seed, sprout, growth, bud, flower and fruit, each part of a plant’s existence has a purpose, a time and is necessary in the natural progression of life. The same can be said about human development. From egg to embryo to infant and child, then adolescent and adult, each stage has a time and purpose. We continuously grow to the next state of being.

The angel said to the women, “Do not be afraid, for I know that you are looking for Jesus, who was crucified. He is not here; he has risen, just as he said. Come and see the place where he lay. Then go quickly and tell his disciples: ‘He has risen from the dead and is going ahead of you into Galilee. There you will see him.’ Now I have told you.” So the women hurried away from the tomb, afraid yet filled with joy, and ran to tell his disciples. Matthew 28: 5-8

This coming Sunday is Easter, a time to celebrate the resurrection of Jesus Christ. It is also a good to examine where you are right now in your spiritual life. It is where you need to be right now, but isn’t where God expects you to stay. God never says, yes, you have grown in Christ’s likeness enough. Have you been in this season a long or short time? Are you moving towards the next steps of your journey? Where is God leading your heart next? What new song can you hear on the soft spring breezes? Where ever it may be, look to it with joy and anticipation.

And he departed from our sight that we might return to our heart, and there find Him. For He departed, and behold, He is here. ~St Augustine

He has risen.
He has risen, indeed.

In Christ,
Deana

Sing to the LORD a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous deeds among all peoples. Psalm 96: 1-3