Of the Seven Deadly Sins, anger is possibly the most fun. To lick your wounds, to smack your lips over grievances long past, to roll over your tongue the prospect of bitter confrontations still to come, to savor to the last toothsome morsel both the pain you are given and the pain you are giving back—in many ways it is a feast fit for a king. The chief drawback is that what you are wolfing down is yourself. The skeleton at the feast is you. –Frederick Buechner, Wishful Thinking
Buechner’s description is full of imagery and gives a certain personality to this emotion. Anger is one of my greatest temptations. It is very easy for me to automatically slide into this state of mind. Anger is a familiar friend, predictable, comfortable companion. I used to like being angry.
I’ve realized that a self gratifying anger is not a state of mind I should be cultivating. It’s a terrible waste of energy and it does great damage to my state of mind and relationships with others. Harbored, it becomes the worst self-righteous bitterness that consumes me and my thoughts. I can’t give grace to others in that state of mind and I certainly can’t receive it. And for that fact alone, it distances my relationship to God as it sucks me into the vortex of self cannibalism. I not longer like anger like I used to.
Refraining from acting in anger is a requires vigilant effort and constant reliance on God. Vengeance is God’s, not mine. A lesson I continue to learn and practice.
It is a cardinal principle of discernment that the Lord always speaks in peace, even if he is rebuking or chastising those he loves. - Thomas H. Green
Owe no one anything, except to love one another; for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. The commandments, “You shall not commit adultery; You shall not murder; You shall not steal; You shall not covet”; and any other commandment, are summed up in this word, “Love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore, love is the fulfilling of the law. - Romans 12:8-10
How do you handle anger?
Excellent question. I used to let my anger simmer inside me until I blew up like a pressure cooker. Talk about feasting on ones self! And the repercussions were typically devastating.
Now I endeavor to let JC guide my thoughts, words and deeds when I’m feeling angry. The closer I feel to God the less often I give in to anger. Sometimes the support of a family member or close friend can help temper destructive emotions.
The golden rule isn’t just for children anymore. Many an adult could benefit by practicing it. How often have we witnessed “grown-ups” treating strangers with more grace and compassion than loved ones? This is the the story of our lives; how we choose to portray our character is up to us. Giving in to one’s anger is tempting and easy. Practicing forgiveness and reconciliation are hard. But the hard road is more fulfilling on so many levels than the easy way out.
Dear God, I’ll take your plate of hard road, please, with a heaping side of love. It smells and tastes better than self-righteous anger. Feed me at Your table, God, not from the altar of temptation. Thy will be done. Amen.
Great post, Deana. And I like Jamie’s comment, too. Good thoughts here.
Anger is an interesting thing sometimes. There’s also the tendency that some have (especially women) to repress and turn anger inward, which is also quite self-destructive. I think there are a few very rare situations that may warrant righteous anger, but it is a parasitic and hurtful emotion to hold onto and definitely does damage when carelessly acted upon. I agree that the state of vengefulness is a self-consuming monster, even if it may feel “good” at first.
DANG! Anger is one of the seven deadly sins?! CRAP, That makes me MAD I didn’t know that
Anger has always been difficult to harness. Myself, I think about the problems it has always created and TRY to learn from my mistakes.
Good post!
Kev